I once crossed Africa with a woman I was trying very hard not to love. In April 1986, I relocated to Munich to start a software company. I was an ambitious thirty-one-year-old physicist, but completely naïve about the country I was moving to. I didn’t even speak German, which quickly became a problem. Coincidentally, on […]
1 – We agreed: Careers first. No Commitment Read More »
As I checked into the residential hotel where I would spend my first month in Munich, I asked the receptionist whether it was safe to walk to a restaurant through the Englischer Garten, the city’s large, mostly unlit central park. She laughed. Munich. 1986. Earlier that day, I arrived at Munich-Riem Airport. At the taxi
An attractive young woman stood in the doorway of my office. She wore little makeup and was dressed strictly for business. “Falkenberg. Sprechen wir Englisch oder Deutsch?” My German teacher. I understood that her name was Ms. Falkenberg and that she wanted to know whether we should speak German or English. I indicated English. She
3 – The Indispensable Colleague Read More »
Swimming in Air: Week 4 Weeks later, Ms. Falkenberg and I met at a café in the city center. I had missed my regular lesson, and she agreed to a makeup session on Saturday morning — professional and public, she insisted. When she arrived, she crossed the room with an easy self-confidence that turned heads.
4 -My Mind Is German, But My Heart Is Argentine Read More »
Our Chianti had barely arrived when Vivian said, “You know, I’m not interested in anything serious.” I half expected the topic to come up that evening, but I didn’t think it would be the first thing out of the gate. “That’s disappointing. I thought our children would be very handsome. Now I have to take
5 – Like an Argentine Tango Read More »
In early summer, Vivian took me to a tearoom called the Friesische Teestube, the Frisian tea café. Tucked into a quiet corner of Schwabing, not far from her apartment, it was an intimate setting where people read and quietly talked. Its muted lighting and dark wood paneling created a distinctly gemütlich atmosphere. There she introduced
6 – Now I Live to Live Read More »
One late-summer Munich morning in 1986, Vivian and I were walking to the Alte Pinakothek art museum, and I made the mistake of questioning her business skills. “How did you learn to negotiate so well?” I asked. “In Argentina, it’s normal. We negotiate for almost everything.” “I take it you didn’t have much money growing
7 – Men Just Seem to Wander Read More »
A week later, Vivian and I walked to the small Kleinhesseloher See at the north end of the Englischer Garten, rented a paddle boat, and floated around, mostly annoying the quacking ducks, who were offended by our presence. “We signed the Philips contract yesterday,” I said. “It looks like I have a real business now.”
8 – I’ve Never Seen a Proton Either Read More »
As summer gave way to the chilly German fall, I stopped by Vivian’s apartment one Friday to pick her up for a date and found a man there. She introduced him as Martín, visiting from Buenos Aires. We shook hands and eyed each other closely. Later, when we were in the car, I asked, “Who’s
9 – Shut The Engine Off Read More »
TW: Sexual Assault “I was eighteen, nearly finished with high school, riding the bus home from the Goethe Schule. Four years earlier, I was proud of the uniform with the large ‘G’ that meant I was growing up. Now, even after shortening the skirt just a bit more than the school allowed and tailoring it
10 – I Guess I Still Have Work to Do Read More »
Vivian rented a room from an East German refugee named Ansgar. In early November, Ansgar’s girlfriend unexpectedly returned from an overseas assignment and found him in bed with another woman. Vivian hid in her room and pretended not to hear their fight, but the next morning, the girlfriend knocked on her door. “You have to
11 – The Problem is When I’m That Person I’m Happy Read More »
In May, Vivian’s mother, Astrid, called from Buenos Aires. “Good news!” Vivian exclaimed with a smile after she hung up. “Mutti’s coming to visit at the end of the month. She’ll stay with us, of course.” “Of course,” I replied, swallowing hard. While Vivian was happy to have her mother visit, I constantly felt scrutinized.
In midsummer of 1987, I was fired. A British firm acquired ExaSoft’s home office and decided to merge my Munich operation into its London office. They gave me until September to transition the Munich operation to a new managing director. After that, I would be unemployed. When I told Vivian, she asked, “Flaco, what does
What follows is a scene that didn’t make it through editing — not because it isn’t true, but because it’s full of details about preparing to backpack for a year in the pre-digital 1980s. If it’s more than you want to know, feel free to skip it and come back next Thursday. Mac helped us
14 – The Difficulty of Doing Nothing Read More »