1 – We agreed: Careers first. No Commitment
I once crossed Africa with a woman I was trying very hard not to love. In April 1986, I relocated to Munich to start a

2 – Munich. 1986.
As I checked into the residential hotel where I would spend my first month in Munich, I asked the receptionist whether it was safe to

3 – The Indispensable Colleague
An attractive young woman stood in the doorway of my office. She wore little makeup and was dressed strictly for business. “Falkenberg. Sprechen wir Englisch

4 -My Mind Is German, But My Heart Is Argentine
Swimming in Air: Week 4 Weeks later, Ms. Falkenberg and I met at a café in the city center. I had missed my regular lesson,

5 – Like an Argentine Tango
Our Chianti had barely arrived when Vivian said, “You know, I’m not interested in anything serious.” I half expected the topic to come up that

6 – Now I Live to Live
In early summer, Vivian took me to a tearoom called the Friesische Teestube, the Frisian tea café. Tucked into a quiet corner of Schwabing, not

7 – Men Just Seem to Wander
One late-summer Munich morning in 1986, Vivian and I were walking to the Alte Pinakothek art museum, and I made the mistake of questioning her

8 – I’ve Never Seen a Proton Either
A week later, Vivian and I walked to the small Kleinhesseloher See at the north end of the Englischer Garten, rented a paddle boat, and

9 – Shut The Engine Off
As summer gave way to the chilly German fall, I stopped by Vivian’s apartment one Friday to pick her up for a date and found

10 – I Guess I Still Have Work to Do
TW: Sexual Assault “I was eighteen, nearly finished with high school, riding the bus home from the Goethe Schule. Four years earlier, I was proud

11 – The Problem is When I’m That Person I’m Happy
Vivian rented a room from an East German refugee named Ansgar. In early November, Ansgar’s girlfriend unexpectedly returned from an overseas assignment and found him

12 – Tomas
In May, Vivian’s mother, Astrid, called from Buenos Aires. “Good news!” Vivian exclaimed with a smile after she hung up. “Mutti’s coming to visit at

13 – Fired
In midsummer of 1987, I was fired. A British firm acquired ExaSoft’s home office and decided to merge my Munich operation into its London office.

14 – The Difficulty of Doing Nothing
What follows is a scene that didn’t make it through editing — not because it isn’t true, but because it’s full of details about preparing